Rowan Colt: Our Heart Warrior
My second birth story holds a very special place in my heart. It’s a two-day journey that I will never forget. It was drastically different than my first birth story. It showed me what I was capable of, and it led us to the day we finally met our heart warrior.
The Backstory
If this is the first time you are visiting my blog, you might not know that CHD, HLHS, and infant loss are a part of our story. The day we found out our son’s diagnosis, we knew pregnancy, birth, and life were going to look very different for us. That is why I hold this birth so near and dear to my heart. It was a major journey that my son and I took together before he was with us in the outside world, ready to start his fight.
Since our son was going to be born with a known congenital heart defect, this birth was more controlled than the standard, normal birth. I was scheduled for induction on March 14, 2022, two days before his actual due date. I couldn’t risk going into labor at home and not making it into the hospital, because he would need immediate NICU attention. We scheduled it for 11 am because we wanted a little bit of extra time with our daughter that morning. We knew her life was about to be very different too.
Arriving at the Hospital
We arrived at the hospital and finally got induction started around 1:30 pm. I was attempting a VBAC since my daughter’s birth was a cesarean. I was glad I was given this option even with our son’s diagnosis. When I arrived I was 0cm dilated with no effacement. My baby was happy right where he was. They would not induce me with pitocin until I was 3cm, so I had to start with a Foley balloon. I had heard other women say they didn’t think the Foley balloon was that bad, but I was screaming in pain. Personally, it was the worst part of the whole labor experience, and I’m sure it was so difficult because of the no dilation or effacement situation.
Day 1
The balloon was taken out a few hours later and a pitocin drip was started. I was continuously monitored to keep track of baby’s heart, but tried to stay standing beside the bed as much as I could. I was also on a scheduled antibiotic because I was GBS-positive. When contractions started getting more intense I would lean over the exercise ball I had on the bed and sway my hips. It was well into the night when I had to start moaning through contractions.
Laboring
After about 13 hours of labor, around 3 in the morning, I knew I was going to want an epidural just to be able to sleep since I had been up since 7 the morning before. I wanted to hold out as long as I could though, because I was determined to get past 4cm before getting the epidural! That was where I got “stuck” with my daughter. I also wanted to eat before the epidural since I knew I would get cut off after that!
Getting Relief
After getting some food in me I asked for the epidural, and the first one failed. It took me three hours to convince them that I was still feeling everything. Having had an epidural before, I knew this wasn’t right. It was finally around 7 am when they placed the second one and it took right away. I was really proud of myself for making it almost 18 hours with pitocin contractions and no epidural, but I was so tired and knew I needed rest. I got checked for the first time after the epidural and I was at 5cm! I was so happy that I had made it farther already than I did with my first labor.
Day 2
I spent that entire day napping with a peanut ball in between my legs and would roll to the other side every time I woke up. I remember getting a couple of checks done and I hadn’t really made any progress. They said I was almost at 6 centimeters, but didn’t want to say 6 because then they would have to put me on a time constraint.
I was so thankful they were so laid back and didn’t put any extra pressure on me. Baby was super happy on the monitor the entire time, so they had no concerns. After checking once again and not being past a 6 they broke my water. There was meconium present, but nothing came of it and they weren’t concerned. On my next check I was at a 9! I had some hope at that moment that I would be having my baby soon. They told me to keep resting so I would be ready to push.
I once again fell back asleep, but I woke in a panic because I was having a hard time breathing. I just remember it feeling like somebody was pushing up and squeezing my lungs; I couldn’t take a full breath and started feeling scared. Looking back it was probably just my uterus, but we also realized in that moment that my epidural had run out and never been refilled. I went from feeling nothing to everything at that moment when I woke up.
Time to Push
My husband called the nurse in who then called a bedside EKG. While being hooked up she checked me and said I should just start pushing. I was actually glad that the epidural had worn off because I wanted to be able to feel what I was doing while pushing. I remember being surprised that pushing didn’t hurt. Don’t get me wrong, it was HARD work, but I didn’t think it was painful.
Time is a funny thing while you’re in labor. I remember asking how long they would let me push and when they told me four hours I thought, “That’s nuts. I won’t have to push that long!”. I could laugh at myself now. Pushing felt easy at first, and then I remember a drastic shift after one push when everything became much more difficult. Hot, sweaty, out of breath, and getting very tired. I have no idea how long I had been pushing when I started feeling that way. My nurse was great about letting me try all different kinds of positions, but ultimately pushing on my back was the most effective for me. I got so far, but I knew I wasn’t going to make it.
I had no concept of time, but my husband told me they let me push for 4.5 hours. I could see my son’s head when I would push, but I just couldn’t get him down. I got to the point where I would start to push and couldn’t even finish because I was so incredibly tired and the pain in my chest was very noticeable when I would bear down.
At that point, I had labored for 42 hours and pushed for over 4 hours. I had nothing left in the tank. The doctor came in for a few pushes and I heard her mention that she might need to use forceps. In that moment I knew I wasn’t comfortable with that and immediately said I wanted a cesarean. My baby already had a life-threatening condition, I wasn’t willing to take the risk of forceps too.
The Birth
It took another 45 minutes for the anesthesiologist to come with the epidural. By the time we got to the operating room, I remember telling my husband to make sure I didn’t fall asleep because I was so exhausted. Shortly after that they pulled my son out and showed him to me over the drape. All I remember thinking at that moment was how cute he was.
He was a champ through the entire labor and birth. I only got to see him for a couple of minutes as they held him next to my cheek. My arms were strapped down, so I didn’t even get to touch him and there was no time for my husband to hold him. Then the NICU team had to take him out. I did get to see him for a few minutes in recovery before they took him across the hospital to CVICU.
And that’s my second birth story! Our first son, Rowan, was born on March 16 at 3:10 am weighing 7lbs 1oz and 21 inches long. I was disappointed I didn’t get my VBAC, but I was so close! I went through 42 hours of labor, 4.5 hours of pushing, AND a c-section. I got a little bit of everything, but most importantly my son and I were both safe. Our CHD journey had officially begun.